ESSAYS

Timeless Writings

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Choosing Civility

Note: With uncivil behavior sadly increasing in the U.S. and many parts of the world, in this essay I'm revisiting a two-part piece I wrote in August 2009 about mindful civility, framed by the book this piece highlights. IMO there are very few books that are packed with so much wisdom from cover to cover, and I hope it brings you as much inspiration to choose civility as it has for me. Because the original piece was published in two parts, this essay is longer than usual, but

Suzanne Matthiessen

Jun 1815 min read

Conducting a Radically Honest Self-Review

NOTE: This essay was adapted from a column originally written and published in September 2007 for Oracle Magazine and has been updated in 2019 and 2026 to offer a self-review process I've been teaching for almost two decades. The Radically Honest Self-Review example I created follows a discussion of why it matters. Employees are sometimes asked to undergo a self-review process before attending a performance appraisal and feedback discussion with a boss or immediate supervi

Suzanne Matthiessen

Jun 1710 min read

Choosing to Do The Work

Note: This essay was originally written and published on September 13, 2005, and updated in 2020 and 2026. In my decades of spiritual exploration and personal growth education, I've met many people traveling on that path who are in various stages of awakening. I don't know exactly what distinguishes one person's pace from another, as we are all entwined yet unique aspects of the collective human landscape, but I do feel that there are points along the way where we make crucia

Suzanne Matthiessen

Apr 3, 20207 min read

Are You Committing Violence Against Yourself?

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "There is no object so foul that intense light will not make beautiful." NOTE: This essay was originally written and published in April 2020 and has been updated in June 2026. A Self-Reflection Practice is at the end. We cannot transcend our own darkness, illusions, divisiveness and/or hatred without first bringing kindness and self-compassion within, no matter how many shadows we have in the deep recesses of our heart and mind. Beating ourselves

Suzanne Matthiessen

Apr 1, 20207 min read

A Turning Point: From "Me! Me! Me!" to "We"

"turning point": noun: 1. a point at which a decisive change takes place; critical point; crisis. 2. a point at which something changes direction, especially a high or low point on a graph NOTE: This essay was adapted from a column originally written and published in 2016 and updated in 2020 and 2026. The self-help genre has been around since ancient Egyptian and Greek times, yet according to Jessica Lamb-Shapiro, author of Promise Land: My Journey Through America's Self-H

Suzanne Matthiessen

Apr 1, 20204 min read

Trying To Be Perfect Will Drive You Perfectly Crazy (And Totally Annoy Everyone You Know)

NOTE: This essay was adapted from a column originally written and published in April 2020 and updated in June 2026. In the 1999 Academy Award winning film "American Beauty," actress Annette Bening portrays a middle-aged real estate agent named Carolyn who has become obsessed with the appearance of perfection; as her burned-out advertising sales executive husband Lester (played by Kevin Spacey) states in the film's narrative, "See how the handle of her pruning shears matches

Suzanne Matthiessen

Apr 1, 20206 min read

Secondary Gains: Contemplating the Subconscious Payoffs Of Being Stuck

Note: This essay was originally written and published in April 2002 and has been updated in June 2026 to include a Self-Reflection Journalling Practice I've been teaching for almost two decades. One of the hurdles many people struggle with jumping over and moving beyond is one called "secondary gains." Secondary gains are negative, energy-depleting and higher-goal-obstructing payoffs that are the noxious outgrowth of worn-out, unproductive, and often harmful to self and other

Suzanne Matthiessen

Apr 1, 20205 min read

I've been referring to myself as a writer since I was about eleven years old after a teacher accused me of plagiarism for a classroom essay assignment, proclaiming there was no way someone at my young age could write about that much human and social depth. Since my biggest peeve has always been false accusations, and in response, finding the strength to stand up to bogus character attacks, I brought her a binder of my handwritten poetry, each one loosely framed around my questionings of
what was the meaning of life and why are we all here. She apologized and changed my grade to an A+.

When I was thirteen, myself and two of my fellow classmates were taken out of regular English class and allowed to write about anything we wanted for the entire eighth grade. After I graduated from high school, I had a Communications professor at community college I attended for my freshman year who took me aside at the end of the semester and said:
"Whatever you do, don't stop writing."

I started out at Arizona State University in pursuit of a journalism degree, but then moved on to getting my first B.A. in Psychology, because what interested me most was writing about what I began to call innerevolution: the processes of deep inner growth and revolutionary transformation. This blog contains articles/essays I've composed since the early 2000s up through the present time that have been published by other entities as well as myself.
Some have been updated as my lived experiences gave me the gifts of broader and deeper insights,
but the core concepts and spirit of each has not been altered, and I refer to them as timeless with humility and gratitude for the gifts and talents I was given and have continuoulsy worked to hone and refine over the years.

It is my hope they will add to your own innerevolutionary processes of change, growth, wisdom, and knowledge.

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