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Hi, I'm Suzanne Matthiessen. I hope this day finds you doing well.

You may have heard people say: "(Person's Name) Leads by Example." It's usually said with reverence and placing that person in a lofty sort of category to aspire to.

HERE'S THE THING: You're already doing it in every sphere of influence you have every day.

You do not need to be in a formal position of leadership, or have that as a designated or bestowed title. Everyone (and I mean everyone) is already Leading by their Example within whatever sphere of influence they have, personally and professionally, in any given interaction, situation, or moment ... and there are no unimportant interactions, situations, or moments.

Most people have multiple spheres of influence: at work, with family members and friends, in their social circles, at school, where they practice their faith, etc. You may not even think much about the impact of what you think, do, and say - or the example your choices, actions, and behaviors has upon others ... including yourself.

It can ripple outward, touching people you don't even know indirectly.

This applies to online interactions as well, no matter if you literally call yourself an "influencer" or someone who seeks followers and what you receive from them, whether it be attention, information, camaraderie with those who share your interests, a sense of belonging, material gains ... or even a desire to manipulate what others think, believe, and do.

WHAT example are YOU leading by?
What impact does YOUR Everyday Leadership example have?

What legacy do you want your life to have after you pass away?

In my two+ decades of adult Work+Life skills Learning and Development facilitation I have designed, developed, and delivered courses to thousands of learners: corporate employees of Fortune 500 companies, small businesses, non-profit organizations, start-ups, Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs), community college continuing education programs, in public and private workshops and intensives, and for law officers and first responders.

In 2025, the passing of my long-time partner after caring for him during a fast-moving devastating illness caused me to reflect deeply upon my own legacy. We never know what day may be our last.

After a period of healing and considering my path forward (including some false starts that never felt "right"), I've chosen to downshift my workplace Leadership Education into only one option - and upshift my focus to where I began decades ago: teaching interconnected, timeless Everyday Leadership Mindsets and Skillsets that support the human case, not the business case. I also wanted to create an online interactive learning community space of like-minded subscribers who are committed to Doing the Work of growth and change as a form of dignified service to our fellow imperfect human beings and the planet we all call Home. I needed to keep it affordable and worthy of the investment of a subscriber's time and money. After considering the many options, I've chosen to open a second Substack after closing my previous column there (The Integrity Habit), beginning anew and starting from scratch, with not only essays, but audio and video LearnCasts™, guided practices, live streams and more. Timeless, not trendy.

As the saying goes, we take ourselves wherever we go. We go many places, yet most adult learning is through or about when people go to their workplaces.

A majority of workplace trainings primarily address a business' bottom line needs with an often limited education budget (understandably) concentrated upon whatever can improve employee performance and productivity that demands tangible ROI metrics to gauge their effectiveness. Leadership education itself is often taught as learning various effective managerial skills, and not about increasing the quality of individual Leadership character for every employee regardless of their position.

LEARNING FOR LIFE BEYOND WORK: LESSONS IN EVERYDAY LEADERSHIP

Problem is, so-called "soft-skills" (including leadership) are not easily measured in standard ROI numbers. They're better considered via a Big Picture lens as what happens when these skills are not being taught and modeled by all levels of formal leadership, and so the COI (Cost of Inaction) is overlooked and the company just stays stuck in a an old, worn out, bug-ridden, status quo operating system.

Additionally, most trainings are framed around "at work" learning and not "at Life" learning. This leaves a huge gap for people who want to play Big in all areas of their life - not just at their job - but it's what they're stuck with.

Numerous studies have concluded that most current workplace L&D models are not producing sustainable results - because they simply can't. "One and done" "check the box" canned online learning programs are great for wide reach and tight budgetary constraints - but they can't facilitate true knowledge embodiment.

In order for new knowledge to become a seamless "go to" behavioral habit upgrade requires continuous follow-up, company-wide adoption and accountability, and consistent reinforcement over time to make it "stick." Most companies don't invest the time, money and care to make the hyped ROI happen - and when a short training doesn't achieve lasting results, the teacher and even the subject matter itself are blamed for it "not working" - when it is not their fault. (That is, unless false or impossible to achieve promises are made.)

Because I learned from years of education and experience what it actually takes for human growth and change to establish strong roots that are nurtured daily by to make them strong, I decided I could not in good conscience pretend that the simple takeaways from a short employee training were enough to make their way further than the short term memory they briefly occupy.

Everything I have written, taught, spoken, and advised about (and I mean everything) during the past two+ decades about Leadership Development, Behavioral Ethics, Dynamic Communication, and integrated "Whole Systems" Mind+Body Wellbeing is centered upon understanding and owning the impact you have upon yourself and everyone your life comes into contact with via the example YOU Lead by.

I now teach Transferrable Work+Life Everyday Leadership Lessons intended to help UPLIFT people's lives - and CHALLENGE them to realize they too have the power to do the same within all their spheres of influence by choosing to Play Big in Life and inspiring one another to lead by Kind, Ethical, Brave, and Honorable Example. All contain classic wisdom and knowledge LifeSmarts that are universal, transcend time and space, and that no one owns woven into tools, talks, stories, and practices. No ego "branding", buzzwords, monetizing the latest trends, or BS.

Change and Growth can be scary and messy ... but if you approach it as an Adventure, it can actually be a fun process along with the challenge - and a contagious service to every life yours touches when you tangibly demonstrate that if you can change and grow via the example you choose to lead by ... then so can they.

HOW YOU COMMUNICATE IS AT THE CENTER
OF THE EXAMPLE YOU LEAD BY

Whatever you put out in terms of what you think, say, and do, positive - or not so much - has consequences in terms of the energy, strength, and reach of your impact and influence upon others. Your Mindset frames and precedes your behaviors and habits, and is expressed via what, why, and how you communicate.

The example you lead/influence by is expressed in all the ways you communicate: your speech, your writings and videos, body language and non-verbal signaling, emails and texts, interactions with those you disagree/have conflicts with, how you dress, conversations with total strangers, your social media posts (including "anonymous" posts), how you speak to people who work in public-facing jobs, etc.

Non-communication (including "ghosting" and choosing not to speak up when it's clearly called for, etc.) IS communication.

LEADING WITH DYNAMIC COMMUNICATION

What example are you leading by in
each of these areas? What communication upgrades can you consciously choose to elevate your impact?

SELF-COMMUNICATION

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

COMMUNICATING DURING CONFLICTS

How you communicate with yourself is no less important than how you communicate with others.
In fact, it often directly impacts every outward form of communication.

The good news is you have the ability to consciously choose to upgrade the ways you communicate within - and without, and lead by an example that others will revere and aspire to incorporate within themselves.

How to Lead with unbreakable Integrity, Character, Dignity, and Civility in all Your Communications is a learnable Skillset,and one of the first

places you can immediately begin to upgrade your Inner Operating System.

ON-THE-SPOT HONEST
EVERYDAY LEADERSHIP
SELF REFLECTION EXERCISE

> Do you communicate to connect - or divide? Uplift - or hurt?

> Give your full presence and attention when listening to someone who is speaking to you - or are you distracted by your phone, or impatiently waiting until there's a break so you can say what you want? Or worse, constantly interrupt and talk over people during conversations?

> Show bravery - or cowardice? Sincere - or fake?

> Calmly assertive - or angrily passive-aggressive? Support - or betray?

> Take ownership for any negative impacts for what you think, say, and do have had - or do you attack, defend, shame, deflect. and/or blame?

> Do you seek agreements for what you state as "your truth" when it's actually your experience, perspective, and/or opinion - and not necessarily fact-based?

> Express with a healthy sense of humor about your own foibles, stumbles, mistakes, etc.? Do you readily admit it when things you read or were taught and grasped tightly - but realized that you were totally wrong about ? Do you commit violence against yourself (aka beat yourself up) when you mess up, or attempt to be (impossibly) perfect?

> Speak honestly to the person(s) you have issues with - or maliciously gossip behind their back ? Brutally honest - or non-violently and kindly truthful?

> Accept mediocrity in others and yourself - or choose excellence (not perfectionism) instead and contagiously bring your best self to everything you say and do?

> Double down when you're made a mistake, or have the courage to admit it, make amends and change course?

> Truly apologize, express remorse and try to make amends when you've made a behavioral misstep - or just toss off an empty, meaningless "Sorry" ?

> Celebrate other people's successes and good fortune - or seethe with envy and jealousy? Express genuine appreciation for the people in your personal and professional realms - or talk crap about them and attempt to diminish and make them feel small all due to your own insecurities and lack of self worth?

> Amplify an instant gratification and entitlement attitude - or possess the humility to inspire people to do the hard work to earn whatever they desire instead of believing they deserve to simply "manifest" whatever they want without effort?

> Do you respect people's time - or are you constantly late? Do you quickly fly off the handle - or have you learned how to calmly respond instead of with triggered knee-jerk reactivity?

> Engage in critical thinking and conduct non-AI bona fide research - or lazily spread disinformation, misinformation, propaganda, and/or conspiracies? Do you invest the time in creating your own communicated content, or justify content theft by using AI bots by claiming you don't know where and from whom it's stealing it from - and then claim it's yours? Do you take credit for work others have done?

> Do you actively promote and support the collaborative, interconnected BIG Mindset of WE ... or the separate, small Mindset of ME-ME-ME?

> Is your integrity unbreakable - or do you justify comprising it?

We're all imperfect human beings, yet each of us has the capacity to Uplift and Challenge one another to lead by an honorable example that can inspire everyone our life touches to do the same.

It that sounds like a good time to you - then please join my Substack Grow UP Show UP Speak UP Lead UP community where we can learn from one another.